The 'Serve and Return' concept and how Baby Massage helps
I can’t promise that Baby Massage will make your baby the next Roger Federer or Serena Williams BUT it can help support the Serve and Return concept. Let me explain…
What is ‘Serve and Return’?
‘Serve and Return’ is a phrase coined by Harvard researchers to describe the back-and-forth interaction between baby and carer. For example, your baby serves up a little cry, you return with some soothing words, they send back a smile, you smash out a bigger smile plus a laugh, they lob a giggle right back at you… and so on, back and forth.
These may just seem like normal, everyday interactions but they are actually an important part of your child’s development.
How does ‘Serve and Return’ affect my child’s development?
Whilst the lower part of the brain is developed by the time of birth - controlling things like breathing, blood pressure, crying, reflexes - the parts of the brain that deal with conscious thought, feelings, voluntary actions, and memories are still maturing after birth. Therefore the early experiences of a baby can have a significant effect on how their brain develops.
You see, with each response that a baby receives, neural pathways in the brain are either created, or existing ones stimulated and strengthened, helping to build more understanding and awareness of emotional and physical responses.
If, for example, each time a baby cries they are sharply reprimanded they will build brain patterns linked to that response, and continue to strengthen them over time if the pattern is continually repeated. This could potentially lead to a child who is less empathetic to others when they are upset than a child that has always been held and comforted when crying might be.
So, how can Baby Massage help?
During Baby Massage, mums (and dads) are encouraged to firstly pay attention to their baby’s cues (smiles, eye contact, gurgling, etc.) and respond accordingly. For example, if a baby was crying or showing signs of needing a feed, cuddle, nappy change, etc. then it would be best to stop massaging and attend to baby’s needs. It can feel tricky to understand and even spot these cues at first, but the more parents pay attention to their baby’s cues the quicker they get to know them and the faster they can respond, ensuring baby feels secure and relaxed in the knowledge that whatever they serve up, they are going to get a clear response and be taken care of. It can also help parents feel more confident when they are more easily able to decipher just what their baby wants.
Baby Massage also encourages lots of positive and loving eye contact, vocal interaction, smiles and, of course, lots of loving, gentle touch. This all helps to reinforce positive ‘serve and return’ between baby and carer which leaves both feeling good. When you or your baby ‘serves’ love and then gets love in return you start to create a beautiful love circle, which helps to strengthen all those positive, loving pathways in the brain.
Try This
Next time you are changing your baby why not try serving up a smile or word, and watch for their return. Or you could see if you can spot them serving to you so that you can respond back.
