3 Things That Don't Make You A Good Parent & 1 Thing That Does

I see and hear all sorts of things about ‘good’ parenting and ‘bad’ parenting and there are a lot of experts out there giving advice… and a lot of non-experts chiming in too. Whilst I don’t always want to add to the ‘noise’ out there, after 24 years of parenting here are 3 things that I personally am absolutely sure have no bearing on your ability as a parent and the 1 thing that I believe will always make you an exceptional parent.

Your age - being a ‘socially acceptable’ age (whatever that even means) when you give birth has absolutely no bearing on how good a mum you will be. Babies don’t cry more because their mum is under 20 or over 40, and they don’t sleep better just because their mum is somewhere between 28 and 35! Babies react to love not age. The vast majority of new mums have little experience when it comes to raising a baby so regardless of age, it’s going to be a challenge. We all mature at different rates, have different personalities and have had different life experiences and family experiences that impact how we parent, whatever age we are. Never let anyone make you feel like less of a good parent just because of your age.

Your relationship status - Having a partner does not guarantee you will be winning when it comes to parenting and doing it alone doesn’t mean you’re going to be behind in some way. Single parents are out there every day smashing it in the world of parenting, as are plenty of couples parenting together. And relationship status can change during your years as a parent so however you start out may not be how it remains all the way through - and that won’t make you less of a good parent either. Being a good parent is about showing love, giving your baby/child the attention and care it needs, and showing up fully for them. One parent can do that just as well as two.

Your income - Whether you live in a mansion or a bedsit, have 6 holidays a year or one weekend away, designer clothes or hand-me-downs, you can be doing equally well as a parent. I know we live in a materialistic world that encourages constant comparison with others, but babies really don’t need fancy clothes or fast cars, they need a parent who comforts them when they cry, who smiles and interacts with them, plays games, feeds, and nurtures them. Your income does not define your ability as a parent. There are kids all over the world growing up with very little in the way of material things who are thriving and happy, and there are kids who on the surface seem to have ‘everything’ who are unhappy, and of course vice versa. It’s not what you have as a child that makes you happy, it’s who you have cheering you on and supporting you.

So, what is the number 1 thing that I believe makes a good parent no matter what?

It’s LOVE.

If you show your child love, treat them with love, speak to them with love, and do everything from a place of love, you won’t just be a good parent, you will be a great parent. That doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes, because we all do, but it does mean that you will build a solid foundation for the years ahead. A child who knows that they are loved is a child who grows into an adult who can show that same love to themselves and others.

Do everything with love, it really is all that matters.

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